survey results and wonder if we should take a collective breath and try to
focus on the discussion topic and not on the poster.
Recently, I made a short, concise posting about the dog park which received
a fair amount of negative pushback – much of it directed at me.
Upon reflection, I realized I let my philosophy trump my civility and, as a
result, I initially made an emotional posting that didn’t further the
conversation. My first post was curt, disrespectful and unhelpful; rather
than an attempt at providing constructive-feedback or thoughtful
counter-position. One respondent actually made this very point to me.
What I learned from the experience was that I should have put my energy
into discussing the topic rather than taking offense and being
reactionary.
So - I spent the next week trying to be more thoughtful about my concerns
and reposted, this time with a focus on the topic.
My second post also received many responses, but this time the majority of
these were even-handed discussions of the topic that I hope furthered the
conversation in a meaningful way. To be sure, there were one or two snarky
retorts, but by- and large- folks focused on the topic and not on me.
Which is exactly the point.
So - my lesson-learned is to keep my personal-feelings in check, not be
offended by other’s ideas, and to remember that there are many, many
different opinions and philosophies in town – and most importantly, that I
should focus on the topic at hand and keep the conversation around that
civil.
This is supposed to be a discussion thread, not just another means of
sniping at one-another.
Perhaps if we all keep this lesson in mind, we’ll improve the civility,
broaden the topics and get more discussion going.
Thanks to all -
Jim Tierney